So I’ve been reading through lots of Reddit posts on r/dating and r/dating_advice to look for some patterns. One that keeps popping up is guys think the only way for them to be more attractive is by working out. Or making more money. Other then that it’s all genetics and they have absolutely no control.
As a woman I’m bombarded with ads of products that will make me more attractive. Advertising tells me there’s billions of ways for me to improve my beauty. I guess men haven’t had that same message their entire lives. So here you go men (all humans really), here’s all the secrets to being more attractive.
Be More Attractive Physically
First I want to clarify something. Women are not as obsessed with looks as men are. We really and truly are looking at more than your face, body, and bank account. We see the whole picture. You do not have to have a 6 pack or a perfect beach body to be successful on a dating app or dating online.
In fact, there are some women that are turned OFF by chiseled bodies because they feel intimidated or like they would be judged. I don’t want to date a huge body builder because if a man is eating and working out all day, how is he going to give me as much attention as I need??
Want to look more attractive physically? Try these:
Update your hair cut
Change your facial hair
Improve your skin – wash it every morning and night with a gentle cleanser. I like the CeraVe Foaming Facial Cleanser. Use sunscreenon your face every day. Use a retinol at night. Start slow with 1-2 times a week and work up to nightly. Just like most good things in life, consistency is important. If you have lots of acne scars or acne start getting facials regularly.
Improve your smile – Brush and floss your teeth regularly. Use Crest Whitestrips to whiten your teeth (this is my best tip for looking more attractive immediately, looking better in photos, and looking younger). Straighten your teeth with braces or Invisalign. Always brush your teeth before leaving the house. Carry gum and/or mints on you.
Eat healthy – Feed yourself like a grown up. Know how to make simple meals. Show that you are capable of taking care of yourself and that you care about your appearance.
Workout – This will improve your mood, give you more energy, increase your confidence, and get you more in touch with and more comfortable with your body.
Have impeccable hygiene – Daily or twice a day showers (omg what a dream to not have to wash/blow dry your hair… I would take so many more showers)
Clean up your hands and feet – Short, clean nails. No crazy calluses. Get a manicure and pedicure if you have to (you’ll enjoy it trust me).
Moisturize your skin – If it’s dry or flakey make sure you’re not using a soap that’s striping all of the oils out of your skin. Switch to a moisturizing body wash and put lotion on after you get out of the shower will your skin is still damp.
Posture – If yours is not good, work on it. Practice. Stand tall.
Get new clothes – Ones that fit you well, are good quality, and can be worn on dates.
So my friend Rachel is getting her Masters at USC and asked if she could interview me all about Bumble and dating as a millennial. I said sure! And she really blew me away with how amazing the video came out!
Here’s her description: “Dating organically is a thing of the past, the new trendy and relevant way to meet the love of your life is through dating apps. Specifically Bumble has taken off as a successful and woman run company over the last few years. It urges its female users to initiate conversation and even holds events regularly for their members. I will follow Lindsay Cockburn, a doctor and blogger, in search of love in Los Angeles county, to a bumble event, where she will eat, drink, work out and possibly mingle. Then interview her about the new way of bumble app dating, the upsides and challenges that she encounters and why she feels this is necessary to meet new people in today’s society.”
Bumble Los Angeles Events
This was actually my 2nd Bumble event and I went to a 3rd, a Happy Hour Mixer at Crustacean Beverly Hills, later that week and it was fabulous. Bumble hosts amazing events! If you want to find out when the next event will be check out the Bumble Los Angeles Facebook Page.
Reflecting on our lives is so crucial! When we don’t we can forget just how far we have come!! Although I am eternally feeling guilty about neglecting my blog, my oh my has she grown! You can check out my very first blog post with a few bullet points on why I started the blog here: #tbt.
A post shared by Lindsay (@blushinginhollywood) on
Also since we forgot to get into it- Annabelle’s mom Fancy Nancy gave me the nickname “Kinsey Lockburn”. She is writing a book called “Ready, And” and decided to name a character after me and hence, Kinsey Lockburn was born.
Some of the blog posts we talked about on the podcast:
We usually complain when something is making us uncomfortable. It feels like steam is building up inside of us and we have to let it out, but instead we can use the steam to push us or motivate us to do something about it.
How can we complain less?
Acknowledge it. Pay attention and be mindful to what you are saying and notice when you are complaining.
When you notice you are complaining start talking about solutions instead.
Once you’re done discussing solutions, pivot to talking about what you’re grateful for.
Avoid negative complaining people, it’s contagious. Being around complainers releases a stress hormone in your brain and makes you age more quickly!
How to Start a Blog or Website
I also wanted to share that I just created a page with some FAQ about starting a blog and/or website. I get lots of questions about how to do this and I think anyone who is thinking about should go for it!!
I’ve changed. Last year around this time I was feeling unhappy. I work a full-time job and I was getting home from work and laying on my couch watching hours of TV until it was time for bed. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE me some Real Housewives, but what I did not love was feeling like I was laying around wasting my life. I knew I had to do something so I consciously made changes to my life to improve it. I decided that I wanted to start living my best life.
I didn’t change my life on my own either, I asked friends and family for advice and support and their help has been crucial as well. They help hold me accountable and cheer me on when they see me succeeding which is amazing.
Another thing that helps give me motivation, ideas, and strategies to improve my life are videos I find on YouTube. I follow some amazing women who give great tips on living a more healthy, happy, and organized life. I loved this video by one of my faves Brittany Vasseur:
I’m a HUGE audiobook fan I’m pretty sure I’d go insane driving in LA traffic if I didn’t have audiobooks and podcasts to listen to. I’ve been an Audible member since 7/8/2011! I pay about $15 a month and get 1 credit for a free audiobook monthly. The Audible app is great and super easy to use as well and keeps your bookmark in the place you left off even if you switch between devices. My favorite part about the Audible app is being able to adjust the speed of the speaker which I usually put at 1.25x. You can sign-up for Audible and get a 30 day free trial with 2 free audiobooks:
Welcome to the first ever Blushing in Hollywood Book Club post! Today I finished Shonda Rhimes’ Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun, and Be Your Own Person and I really enjoyed it a lot. If you didn’t already know, Shonda Rhimes is the incredibly talented creator of Grey’s Anatomy and Scandal and executive producer of How to Get Away with Murder. She is a serious boss lady that pretty much runs things on TV right now. She’s so much more than that though because she’s really changed the face of television to make it look more like how the world actually looks (instead of adding diversity she likes to refer to it as normalizing) and for her efforts she’s won a GLAAD award, several NAACP Image awards, and a Peabody Award. She’s a pretty impressive person.
I really love this video I think this girl is awesome and hilarious. Megan MacKay is a writer and comedian from Canada and you can check out her website for more info meganmackay.net She combines some of my favorite things in this one: feminism, makeup, humor, calling people out on their shit, and helping women. I hope this video goes even more viral than it has already!
Some of my favorite parts:
Foundation in a new shade called The NFL because it will cover up anything just to save face
The intersectional feminism eyeshadow primer- And to those people generally the best thing to do is um read a fucking history book.
Bronzer time! I love this name it’s so punny it’s ‘Orange You Sad That the American News Source Most Dedicated to Truthful Journalism Turned Out To Be TMZ?’
So yeah be sure to check out this video because this girl is quick and it has a good message. Also, if you don’t want your day to take a turn for the worst I recommend (and this is just s general life tip) to not read the comments.
Last Saturday I went to BeautyConLA and holy crap it was overwhelming. Since 99.9% of the population doesn’t understand what a beauty convention is or why one would exist, let me explain. According to the website “BEAUTYCON IS A FASHION AND BEAUTY COMMUNITY + CONFERENCE FOR THE INTERNET’S MOST INFLUENTIAL BEAUTY AND FASHION ICONS AND THEIR EVER-GROWING NUMBER OF FANS. BEAUTYCON HAS ALREADY TAKEN OVER LA, LONDON + NEW YORK AND NOW, WE’RE HEADING BACK HOME, TO BEAUTIFUL LOS ANGELES! #BEAUTYCONLA” It consisted of a bunch of booths for makeup, hair, and skincare (mostly) products, and had panels of internet/youtube/instagram famous beauty gurus and the like as well as some quickie classes/makeup demonstrations. I had actually planned on seeing some of the panels, but it was so insanely busy and confusing in the convention I never actually made it into one.
Picture of Colbie Caillat from her Instagram @colbiecaillat
Colbie Caillat’s music video for the song “Try” has recently gone viral for all the right reasons. You’ve probably seen links to Buzzfeed articles on your Newsfeed titled things like “These women took off their makeup for a music video and you won’t BELIEVE what happens next!!” It’s not all that dramatic though, the women take off their makeup and Colbie takes out her weave and they looked like what every girl in the world looks like when she wakes up.
Through all forms of media we are bombarded with images of flawless looking women. If you scroll through your instagram feed I’m sure between all the pictures of scenery and delicious looking brunches there are bound to be women who appear to have huge hair, huge lashes, and flawless skin. When this glammed up image has become the norm, it’s hard to look at yourself fresh faced in the morning and like what you see. Hell, it’s hard to take a picture of yourself all glammed up and like it enough to post on Instagram because it always just seems not quite good enough. I have absolutely fallen into this trap. A few months ago I was bored and killing some time by putting all the makeup I own on my face and I decided to capture it for Insty: