For New Years my friend and I decided to head to Charleston, South Carolina. We love the show Southern Charm on Bravo and because it just looked fun. We had no idea what kind of craziness we were getting ourselves into…
Southern Charm is a reality show on Bravo that follows a handful of attractive socialites in Charleston. The show chronicles the gang’s personal and “professional” highs and lows. I use quotes for “professional” because most of them are from Old Money and hardly work.
While that might seem mighty fancy, we all know that Old Money + Boredom (from barely working) = a shit show. A very fun to watch shit show that I highly recommend.
William Shepard “Shep” Rose III is one of the main cast members in the show. He’s a single good looking bachelor business man in his early 30s living off his mailbox money and charm. He provides great little quips in his interviews and in general seemed like a nice and funny person.
My friend was especially interested in meeting Shep in Charleston because she too is passionate about leisure. That was about as far as she got in that plan, she wanted to meet Shep, so we met Shep. She asked me everyday during Christmas vacation to tweet Shep and ask him what he was doing for New Years Eve. She had already asked him and he hadn’t replied.
Shep looks like my little brother and acts like him as well which is why I knew (and told her) “Shep isn’t going to know what he’s doing for NYE until the day of.” Sure enough, on NYE he posted on Instagram that he would be between the bowling alley and the establishment he owns called “The Palace Hotel.”
We started our night off at a terrible party at a place that will sound familiar if you are a Southern Charm fan- Republic Garden & Lounge aka the club the cast seemed to be at every single day on the show. After that, we made our way to The Palace Hotel.
The Palace Hotel
The Palace Hotel is neither a palace nor a hotel, it’s a dive bar that sells hot dogs. The Palace Hotel made it very easy to meet Shep, but sadly it burned down 3 weeks after NYE. Hopefully it will be back up and running soon because it was actually a really great place.
So there we were in full NYE glam at a dive bar that sells hot dogs. Lo’ and behold shortly after the ball drops Shep stumbles in. He is very drunk at this point. His eyes look like a frog’s eyes just darting all over the place and can’t focus on any one object.
My friend asks me what she should do to make a move. I suggest being in his general vicinity (i.e. if he goes outside, you go outside). Do not under any circumstances tell him what a huge fan you are. We already learned that lesson once the hard way with Jeremy Piven. She eventually breaks the ice by telling him his tweets are funny and he is very flattered.
A little more time goes by and then Shep is standing by the exit with a small group of friends screaming about how he’s leaving to go home. He looks at us and asks “Are you guys coming?” We said yes and we’re on our way to Shep’s place.
Going to Shep’s House
Shep is cracking some dad jokes on the walk over with the group and keeps ending them with “I’M KIDDING!!!” which is a tagline my friend and I still use to this day.
Shep has a nice 3 or 4 story house which you can see on the show. He is a bachelor so of course half of his furniture is broken, but it’s definitely a nice place. There were about 10 of us at this after party.
Reading Shep’s Journal
At some point I proceed to look at all of the stuff Shep has left out in his living room table. This included his mortgage papers and his journal. I actually read Shep’s whole journal because it wasn’t that long. It wasn’t too juicy. It was mostly about the terror attacks in Paris because they happened right before he went there for Thanksgiving with his family. I confessed to Shep that I read it to which he replies “You read my Gurnal?!” (as in girly journal). Luckily he didn’t seem upset at all.
Then in walks another cast member- Whitney. Whitney is 47 and he looks REALLY good in person. I need to know who does his work because it is NICE. He is extremely polite and immediately introduces himself to us and shakes our hands. Not long after he arrives he does his signature move I’ve seen him do on the show and says “This party is lame.” He tries to recruit us to leave with him, but I’ll come back to Whitney in a bit…
I start talking to a guy at the party who is not 47. He was wearing a very strange outfit that I would describe as “Insane pirate going to a Renaissance faire.” The outfit included an embroidered purple vest. He had weird facial hair I think it was an intense mustache or something, my brain is clearly trying to repress these memories. I don’t remember what this guy’s name was so let’s call him Pirate.
Pirate leads with talking about how he too was going to be on Southern Charm, but was not quite rich enough. I tell Pirate he looks like a villain to which he responds “Yeah, but you’re attracted to me.” I say “I feel confused when I look at you.” I still feel confused months later as I write this, but I guess he was a cute villain.
Danger is Afoot
My friend comes back to the living room after hanging out with the group and tells me that she had a strange encounter with Whitney. Whitney told her she has nice nail beds (what?) and then told her he bet she had really nice feet. She asks if he’s one of those foot fetish people and he does a sharp inhale and says “Yeah, yeah I am…” and trails off at which point my friend made up an excuse to get out of the situation and tell me immediately.
Whitney finds us in the living room and starts back in on the “Let’s go back to my place” campaign. When Whitney says “my place” what he means is “my mom’s insane mansion that’s been in Architectural Digest and is filled with incredible art.” This did make it more tempting as I do love me some Miss Patricia.
Then Whitney said we could drink champagne and he’d play the guitar (no thanks). My friend tries to get me to go because she loves Whitney’s larger than life mom Patricia too. I tell her there’s no way showing up at Miss Patricia’s house at 4am with Whitney will end up with her welcoming us with open arms ready to be our new BFF.
“Can I Go Home Now?”
I ask Whitney what girls usually say to him once they’re back at his place and he said “Can I go home now?” which I’m sure is exactly what I would have been saying.
My friend goes back into the kitchen with the rest of the party and then one of the strangest things I’ve ever experienced happens. I had taken off my heels at Shep’s because I’d been wearing them for about 8 hours already so I was barefoot. Whitney is sitting next to me on the couch and says “You have really nice feet.” I can’t even get out a “thanks?” before he bends down, pick up my bare foot, and takes a big whiff and SMELLS IT and then walks away.
Pirate is sitting on my opposite side and starts talking about something totally unrelated and I interrupt him and say “ARE WE NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT WHAT JUST HAPPENED!?” He replies “No it was really weird so I’m trying to pretend it didn’t happen.” Classic Southern move. Whitney leaves solo shortly after that.
Time to Dip
We join the party again and Shep is telling rapid fire dad jokes because he is LIT. Pirate decides it’s a good time to put some dip (tobacco) in his mouth which means I’m never going to kiss him. GAG. That is one thing I don’t miss about the South. Never once have I seen someone use dip in LA.
The group decides to go to a third location to continue the partying and my friend and I do an Irish goodbye and take an Uber back to the hotel without saying goodbye.
All in all it was a weird but fun night. Both Shep and Whitney were very nice except for the foot smelling thing which I will never ever get over.