To text or not to text? There’s a lot of conflicting advice out there when it comes to texting etiquette and after thinking about it and discussing it with some friends I have come to the conclusion that if you want to text someone, just go ahead and do it. Don’t over think it, don’t try to cleverly craft a the “perfect text” that takes an hour, several revisions, and at least 3 friend’s approvals. Just send the text you were thinking of and be done with it. Now let’s address some fears: Continue reading “Texting Etiquette for Dating”
As a person that has been socialized since birth to people-please (aka a woman) I understand how difficult it is to say no when someone asks you on a date. Today I’m going to talk about turning someone down via text message/Facebook messenger/email/etc. because turning someone down in person is a much different. When you’re in person and you’re a girl being asked out by a guy you have to worry (unfortunately) about your safety so that will be a different post.
This all stems from a man asking me out via text recently who I needed to maintain a positive relationship with for professional reasons. I think this comes up a lot when you’re asked out by a work colleague or a Starbucks barista or friend of a friend that you’re going to run into a lot and it gets tricky. If you give a creepy stranger your phone number so he will leave you alone you have my permission to never respond to him ever and block him if he harasses you. Same goes for a guy on a dating website who you have barely chatted with- no response necessary. Another twist comes when you’re not sure if someone is asking you on a date and you don’t want to presume they are and be incorrect because that’s awkward. For example, a single work colleague of your preferred sex texting you “Hey want to grab drinks?” Here’s how to handle it if the answer is “No.”: Continue reading “How To Say No To a Date”
I really like the 5 Love Languages which is a book that talks about how we all wish to receive love in different ways (words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch) and that is the way that we are also most likely to show our love. The problem is when you and your partner don’t have the same primary love language and you’re doing all of these things for them in your favorite love language and you don’t feel appreciated because they still don’t seem fulfilled. For example you could be making them breakfast everyday, taking out the trash, running errands for them and they’re still complaining that you never want to spend time with them. You think you’re showing your love doing all of these acts of service, but what this person really craves is for you to be spending quality time with them.
One love language that’s hard for some people to learn is Words of Affirmation. It’s easy enough to compliment someone with a “you look nice”, but if they are constantly flooding you with compliments and you’re not used to saying so many yourself it can feel uncomfortable when there’s that pause after they finish and it’s your turn and you just say “…thanks…” This is especially true if you grew up with a family that didn’t constantly give Words of Affirmation so you feel lost as to what this person wants you to say and very awkward and forced when trying to do it yourself. I think that giving compliments or words of affirmation is a muscle that you can strengthen through practice. Yes it will feel a bit forced at the beginning, but the “forced” part should be saying how you truly feel so it should not feel fake or inauthentic just a little uncomfortable as you get used to something new. Even I don’t always feel comfortable saying how I feel so I understand your pain.
Here are some examples on how to mix it up in the compliments department: Continue reading “How to Compliment Someone You’re Dating”