I asked my girlfriends to tell me the worst gift a guy has ever gotten them and the answers were hilarious. Here I separate them by category for you so you know what not to buy the ladies in your life this holiday season:
1. No gift at all– This was the #1 response, no bueno! Don’t do that thing where you act like the holidays don’t exist either that shit’s not cute.
2. Gifts that are a little TOO creative– One girl was given a painting of herself worth several thousand; a shoddily homemade Starbucks drink sleeve; M&Ms custom made with the couples’ face on them
3. Self help she didn’t ask for– Dietary supplements for working out/protein powder; your mom’s cookbook; a 3 month membership to Equinox that implied a) she needed to workout b) he was cheap and c) they would be together for 3 months
4. Not-so-sexy gifts– One of those big triangle sex wedges and a baby sex wedge; a bag of condoms from the health department
5. Seemingly creative gifts that lack real creativity– An empty scrapbook; “wrote a song for her” that was already on the radio and tried to play it off as his own; found an essay he wrote for class and tried to pass it off as if he had written it for her (he didn’t). It was creased from being in the bottom of a drawer and it even had the teachers grade and comments on it in red ink.
6. Gifts that make you look cheap– 1 ticket to an amusement park (is she supposed to go by herself??); anything you have to “split the cost of”; one guy said he’d take her out for dinner as a gift and then didn’t have enough cash to pay at the end.
7. Things you have already eaten (c’mon, seriously??)- One guy said he’d surprise her with dinner and showed up with half eaten day old Chinese food and it was not a joke; another received a box of Valentines day candy with most of it already eaten.
8. WTF– Giving a Jewish girl a gold crucifix necklace; a portrait of two babies kissing; a pot holder; an insane cat. One of my favorites was a girl that received a huge moving box sized box as a gift and it was full of pop tarts because he had seen her eating them once. They were all the brown sugar flavor. On the other hand another friend told me one of her favorite gifts she received was a huge jar of sour warheads because they were her favorite candy.
9. The inspiration for this post– Last year for Christmas my friend received anti-aging cream she didn’t ask for from her much older boyfriend, a coffee travel mug with a sassy girl cartoon character on it, an auxiliary cable, cookies, and a key to his apartment which she basically already had so it wasn’t really a gift and she should have had it way before Christmas for convenience purposes.
In conclusion: If you have a lady in your life that you want to continue seeing in 2015 be sure to get her a gift first of all, use a little common sense and don’t make it too weird, only get her any kind of “self help” or sexy stuff if she asks for it VERY specifically, if you don’t have any money do something creative because girls love that (nothing plagiarized though!), and you can’t eat her gift before giving it to her. Also, girls are kind of hard to shop for I’ll give you that.
Which one is your favorite? What are some of the worst gifts you’ve ever received?