Well I had one of my top 5 worst dates of all time last month. The short version of what happened is, as the title says, a Tinder date actually left me at the bar.
So let’s go back to the beginning. We texted for a while and then he told me we should meet up for drinks (I’ve written before about how this is one of my least favorite invitations). He said if I wanted we could just hang out at his place (red flag). I said absolutely not we’re going somewhere public. He said ok great let’s do it.
When he asked me where I’d like to go I told him that I’d like for him to plan it and also could he please pick me up. He said sure no problem. Before our date I briefly Googled him since he is a former model (this is LA after all) so he has some web presence. I find out that he is actually 27, not 28 like his Tinder profile says. This is a trend I have been seeing a lot more lately with people lying about their age. I have no clue why there’s any difference between 28 vs. 27, but when I asked him about it he said he was indeed 27.
The day of the date comes and he asks me if I went to meet him at a bar in Brentwood. As the name of this blog suggests, I live in Hollywood (~30-40 minutes from Brentwood) so I said hell no you as he is supposed to come pick me up as we previously agreed. He said ok sure I can do that.
He then shows up half an hour early (better than late I guess?). I get in the car and we say hello and he starts driving. I ask him where we’re going and he says “I don’t know I don’t really know this area” and I try to keep my eyes from rolling out of my head since hello, use Google or Yelp like the rest of us. He then says we could hang out on his side of town or maybe we could just hang out and have a drink at his place.
He then says “but you already said you don’t want to do that so..” that’s right buddy. His next idea is that he’ll drive down Fairfax because there’s “a group of bars and lounges and we’ll just go to one of those.” He’s not sure exactly where they are and when I ask for more information he has none. He then proceeds to pass every single bar on Fairfax and points to some place I’ve never heard of when he realizes we are practically in Little Ethopia and says “what about here?” I tell him no and suggest we go to a great date bar called The Woods which is back by my apartment. He agrees and we drive back there.
We arrive at The Woods and I sit down at the bar and he tells me he’s going to use the restroom. I order a beer and he comes back and asks me what he should order. God I hate a man that cannot make a decision. Like if you can’t plan 1 date what’s the rest of our relationship going to be like?
He orders what I’m drinking and the bartender says “sure man, I just need to see your ID.” My date pulls out his wallet and says “oh no I think I left my ID at home” and opens up his wallet and there’s nothing in it– no cash, just like 1 credit card and that’s it.
I stare at him in disbelief of this idiocy. We’re already off to a not so great start and now this? The bartender who was BEYOND nice tells my date that if he goes to get his ID and when he comes back he (the bartender) will buy him his drink (why!?) and if I need to leave that I don’t have to worry about my drink either the bartender will take care of it.
My date says he thinks his ID is in the car and asks if he should go get it and I say sure. He walks out of the door and slowly it begins to dawn on me… “Holy Shit!! This guy is not coming back!! He just left me!”
I drink my beer astonished at what has just transpired when luckily my brother called me. I talked to my brother for a little while then immediately after I hang up the phone one of my best friends called me so I talked to him for a while as well. I get off the phone and 20 minutes had gone by. Yup, he most definitely was not coming back. WOW. I finish my beer and luckily I’m close enough that I’m able to walk home. Here’s a picture of what I was looking like that night in case you are curious:
When I get home and tell my roommate what happened she expertly points out that he probably went to the bathroom to put his ID in his pocket and that he most definitely has done that move before since he did it so casually.
This surprisingly has never happened to me and I thought it was such a mean, tactless, immature, cowardly move. If a date isn’t going as planned (aka I’m not going home with you which was clearly your only vision of what you wanted to happen on this date) just say “you know what I don’t think this is working out for either of us, let’s call it a night and I’ll take you home.” To just lie and leave me there? You are not making your mama proud with that move that’s for damn sure.
I think this happens more commonly to guys than girls. I think girls have at least some excuse to pull this move which is feeling like it is a last resort because if you try to tell the guy face to face you are worried about your safety. Guys rarely have to fear that a girl is going to hurt them in some way if they say they’re not interested, yet there’s still a ton out there that are huge cowards. I’m not sure what this guy thought he was avoiding when he left me without saying anything.
I write on my Tinder profile that I write a DATING and beauty blog. Out of all people to treat shitty on a date you would think that maybe the person who could use Search Engine Optimization to make this story on her blog about how terrible you are the first Google result when anyone tries to look you up might not be the one to piss off.
I did think for a second about posting his full name and pictures on the blog because it really does suck that people can get away with this terrible behavior since there’s no consequences. If he doesn’t tell anyone he knows then they will never find out. And we have no mutual friends for me to tell.
I decided instead to take the high road and not post his info. Hopefully the universe has some karma they will be dumping on him at some point in the future. Maybe a girl will leave him at the alter 🙂
If you are wondering no, I haven’t heard from this guy since he never texted me and I didn’t try to contact him. He also blocked me on Tinder and Instagram.
I usually like to end posts like this with some sort of uplifting message or lesson I learned, but I’m not exactly sure what the lesson was here. Never trust a man? Don’t date anyone under 30? Don’t go out with anyone who suggests a first date at their apartment? The Universe wants to make sure I have plenty of stories for my blog and future dating memoir?
What do you think was the lesson here?
The good news is that I have a new post coming up about a new dating website called Dating Ring where there is some actual accountability so be on the look out for that!