Why I’m Taking a Break from Dating Online

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The internet is a great place to meet people. You can filter people to make sure they’re tall enough, geographically desirable, share your interests, and talk to them all while in your soft clothes on the couch. I just got back from visiting one of my friends and the cutest baby ever who would not exist if it weren’t for Okcupid. I’ve met plenty of great guys online and have even dated some for extended periods of time. I have even gone out with people I’ve met in real life who later I found out were on the same dating websites as me so theoretically we could have just as easily met there.

A few months ago I went out with 3 different guys i met online back to back and had some not so great experiences. These texts were about the last one I went out with of the trio and as you can see they are from his girlfriend to me.

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There’s a part missing here where I agreed to not say anything to him, but told her there’s no reason for her to be nice about it.

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So while this situation is terrible the other 2 were even worse, but it’s a little too early on Blushing in Hollywood to get into that type of dirt. So why am I posting this? To confirm that all of your worst nightmares about online dating are true and how you can’t trust anyone? No. I’m posting it because I learned a few things from it:

Trust Your Intuition.

If you’re having a back and forth convo on Tinder then the guy asks you for your number and then doesn’t text you for a week that is not normal or ok. Don’t be afraid to ask questions if something seems weird or off! The only people this will scare off is ones who are trying to hide something!

Be a Girls’ Girl.

This girl contacted me seeking the truth so that’s what I gave her. I didn’t know her or owe her anything, but helping out another girl without your own agenda is generally the way to go. This was pretty much the only redeeming thing about this situation was that I could confirm this girl’s feelings of suspicion and prove to her she’s not paranoid or crazy and that she should trust HER intuition. I never contacted this guy again despite my urge to want to confront him and hold him accountable for his (shitty) actions.

If You Date 3 Scary Dudes in a Row, Your Picker Just May Be Off.

The thing that these 3 guys have in common was ME. I talked to them beforehand, agreed to go on dates with them, and as easy as it is to place the blame on online dating or dating in LA I need to take responsibility of my part in this. I took a break from dating when I realized that something inside of me was causing me to pick men who were definitely not right for me. Maybe I was drawn to them because I realized they weren’t super stable or predictable and I wasn’t ready for commitment, who knows.

I want to take a moment here to say that the old “secret girlfriend” trick has been played on me before by a guy who I met out in real life who did it in a much more elaborate way than 2 dates and a quick kiss so don’t let this story deter your interest or efforts in finding someone online.

The break has been really good and I’m glad I did it. If you’re feeling burnt out I highly recommend it. It’s nice to slow down and take some time to refocus yourself and get back on your path to being the person you want to be. I feel like I’m just about ready to get out there again.

 

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12 thoughts on “Why I’m Taking a Break from Dating Online”

  1. “If you date 3 scary dudes in a row, your picker just may be off. The thing that these 3 guys have in common was ME.” Extremely profound and right on. It’s unfortunate but unlike most people, you figured this out real quick. Most people don’t ever figure that out. Now that you know, you can do a little soul searching and check to see why and how you’re filtering in the bad guys and make some adjustments and you probably won’t have that issue anymore.

    Just remember, if a guy lies to you anytime in the first few dates, even about something simple like why he is late, just end it.

    Personally, I date around and am not looking for anything exclusive right now. But I tell the women I date that upfront, on the first date, long before sex is on the table so they are free to make their own informed choice about whether dating me is something they want to do. If a guy can’t be that honest with you, just end it.

  2. Happened to me before except when I contacted the girl, she was the worst and sent me a sex tape I’m serious a sex tape and tried to prove to me that they were together I was like thanks but a simple woman to woman conversation would have sufficed.

      1. I was just about to respond that I guarantee they’re still together. Poor girl. Great points though, my intuition has always been right, and I still choose not to trust it sometimes!

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