A friend came to me recently asking to recommend some good free dating apps. She is currently going through a separation and didn’t want it to show up on a credit card bill (could you blame her!?) I posted back in January the Dating Apps to Try in 2017 which included Hinge, Bumble, The League, Happn, and Coffee Meets Bagel. All of these apps you can use for free, but have in-app purchases available. The good news is that these apps don’t have to directly charge your credit card- you can always buy an iTunes or Google Play gift card and load it to your account and then make the purchase!
My friend also doesn’t live in a big city which means that not all of these apps are currently available to her. I’m also going to skip Coffee Meets Bagel because for some reason this app does not appeal to me and I barely use it.
Free Dating Apps With Paid Upgrades Available
Continue reading Free Dating Apps
I took a break from online dating for a couple months so when i returned I wanted to try something new and that’s how I ended up on happn. I’ve previously used OkCupid, Tinder, Dating Ring, and Hinge, all of which I would recommend except for Tinder which I think has run it’s course. Logging on to Tinder now would be like trying to use MySpace again. Hinge is great and I have a few friends that I’ve recommended it to find boyfriends on Hinge. I wanted to try something new (to me) and my friend suggested I “try that app where it shows you the people close to you since you have so many problems with that.”
What is happn?
Happn is a free dating app that uses your location services on your phone (always on in the background) to show you profiles of people that you have “crossed paths with”. It tells you when you crossed paths, how many times you’ve crossed paths, and gives you a little map of the location that you crossed paths at. While all of this can seem very creepy, dating in a big city that takes FOREVER to get across makes dating someone on the other side of town tricky. I don’t know if you non-angelenos have heard about this little rumor, but there is indeed a ton of traffic in LA. This app is nice because it shows you people who are near the places that you frequent the most- for me it’s home and work. Continue reading happn Dating App
I had heard rumors here and there about Tinder possibly charging for features over the last few months and those rumors are true it appears! Tinder Plus is an in-app purchase add-on with four main new features: You can change your location, rewind your last swipe, get unlimited likes, and turn off ads for $9.99-19.99 per month in the US (the prices vary in other countries). Tinder Plus has decided to charge different rates for different ages so if you’re in the US and under 30 you pay $9.99 per month and if you’re over 30 it’s $19.99. I read a tweet that said over 28 and almost had a minor melt down (I am 28), but the 28 year old cut off appears to be in the UK . They decided this after a bunch of testing in various countries showed them that people under 30 are more broke/cheap and over 30 are more desperate for love and booty I suppose. You can still download Tinder and use the features you’ve come to know and love over the past couple years for free, but more ads are coming so get ready. Let’s break down these 4 new features: Continue reading New Tinder Plus App Costs Money
One of the many trends that turn me off of someone’s Tinder (or Okcupid) profile is when they post something like “don’t worry I won’t tell anyone how we met it can be our secret ;)” or “we can tell everyone we met at IHOP”. Ok, thanks bro. I am truly not interested in anyone who is ashamed to be online dating. Are you better than Martha Stewart at thinking of good ways to do things? No? Well she online dated and if she’s not too good for it neither are you 27 year old guy who “has a real job, not in the BIZ” with pictures of you surfing and with your boys at da club in Vegas and a car selfie with sunglasses on. You can be good looking, charming, successful, and still want to try online dating. The guys that say these things never seem SO good looking and SO successful and SO amazing that no one would EVER believe they’re looking for love on the internet either. The other part that annoys me is they’re throwing shade at me by saying these things. They mean it as a cute little compliment, but the underlying thing they’re saying is oh how could I bring myself to this low point and actually send my computer signal to space to try to find a man?? #shadyboots
The other ways guys (I guess there’s probably girls out there that do this too) let their shame flags wave high is not having a profile picture. It really cracks me up when they try to give reasons why they couldn’t possibly put their pictures up. “I’m in med school I’m not allowed.” Really? Why are there like 20,000 other med students on dating websites showing their faces? “I don’t want people at work to find me” Jesus Christ please get over yourself. If you are that powerful and important you would post yourself online with pride realizing that no one is going to say shit about it. Same thing goes for writing in your profile “wow I never thought I’d be online dating I can’t believe I’m on here”. Girls want a strong man that will stand behind their actions. They also want someone with enough humility to realize that doing something like dating online does not even matter in the slightest in the grand scheme of life. Check your ego little Kanye. When everyone on Earth says they’re looking for someone who is confident, this is not what they mean.
What do you think? Do you have a theory as to why people are still ashamed to date online in 2014?
One thing about online dating that can be frustrating is finding people who actually want to go on a date! There’s only so many “Happy Hump Day!” messages one can get before becoming cynical. There are plenty of time wasters out there (both male and female) and if you want a pen pal they will chat with you about nothing at all for ages. If you want an actual date here are a few of my tips:
1. Guys: Don’t ask right away!! There is about 0 personal info on Tinder so if you ask right away you are saying that you don’t really care what the two of you have in common or if you click, you just want to see if you are physically attracted to them right away in person or if you will “feel chemistry”. Asking right away is a huge turn-off for me because it’s almost like the guy is playing a numbers game and just trying to go on as many dates as possible. You should spend at least a few minutes going back and forth in a conversation first before deciding if you want to ask them out! Guys who do this also tend to blame the girls on Tinder saying that none of them actually want to go on a real date, when in reality they are pushing all the girls away with their eager and non-discriminating approach to asking girls out. On a deeper level this makes me wary that a guy is going to objectify me. I’ve had plenty of seemingly nice, normal guys objectify me while dating. They constantly bring up aspects of this image of me that they want me to be (in very subtle ways) vs. actually getting to know the person I really am. I think I can and will write an entire post about this!
2. After you’ve had a little back and forth banter, know what the person does for fun, if they live in a geographically desirable location relative to you (I think this is pretty key in LA), what they spend most of their time doing, and have a glimpse of their personality, bring it up! I’m old fashioned when it comes to this and I almost never ask guys out. I will, however, ask them if they’ve ever gone out with any girls on Tinder, what they think about online dating, talk about my interest in going out on a real actual date and spending time together, etc. This is the time for them to take the hint and ask you out. If they do not after a 2-3 days, or if a girl gives you a weird excuse and then won’t commit to a different plan, or if the person becomes a ghost then we come to our next tip:
3. Know when to hold ’em and know when to fold ’em! There are plenty of people on Tinder who like the idea of dating new people, but who aren’t actually open to it right now (like me)! These people have good intentions and are hoping that they’re going to find someone who interests them enough to bring them back into the dating world, but are not all in yet. If you feel like you have taken the time to get to know someone, have some things in common, seem romantically interested in eachother/are flirting and the guy doesn’t ask you out in under a week- move on! Block him/unmatch him if you have to. If they say they want to “grab drinks” or “hang out this weekend” and then fail to make a real plan, move on! Listen to Jay-Z “On to the Next One” and keep it moving. There are plenty of other great guys and girls out there and even though you think you may have found your perfect Tinderella, if they do not want to meet up then it is impossible for you to have a real relationship. Let go of your fantasy and find a real life human being who you can actually kiss!
Ah one of my least favorite date invitations right behind “When are we gonna hang out?” And “Let’s go (insert sporty or outdoor activity that involves me sweating) as one of our first dates!” Now this invitation may seem innocuous enough especially if you’ve been out of the dating scene for a while, but let me explain why I don’t like it: Continue reading No, I Don’t Want to Grab a Drink
What to write in that little blurb? Here’s some things to consider not writing:
1. “The baby in the picture is NOT MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M A PROUD UNCLE OK STOP ASKING!!!!” – Woah calm down.
2. “I guess everyone is putting their heights? That’s like a thing? So here’s mine 5’5” – The reason why you need to put your height is because when you’re crouching down to pet a tiger or taking a shirtless bathroom selfie I can’t really get a gauge as to how tall you are/how much I’ll potentially be towering over you. As much fun as it is to try to figure out how many Axe body sprays tall you might be from the bathroom pic and convert that, I’d rather you take the detective work out of it and just tell me.
3. Ok those are all the tips you get because if you’re inspired to go on and on about how great you are or how much money you have or how much you hate sluts PLEASE do so we all know which way to swipe.