The air is getting colder and the desire to spend Sunday afternoons snuggled on the couch with someone is increasing rapidly. This can only mean one thing, we are now approaching Cuffing Season. Summer is a great time to hang out with friends, spend your days at the beach and embrace your single self. However, once the temperature drops, you’re on the hunt for a cuddle buddy to cuff for the winter months. The truth is, you don’t know if this relationship will survive the snowy season, but you also don’t want to be the only person without a date to your friend’s NYE party. Keep reading for tips on what you can do to ensure you cuff the person you want to spend your “Netflix and chill” time with.
So I’ve been reading through lots of Reddit posts on r/dating and r/dating_advice to look for some patterns. One that keeps popping up is guys think the only way for them to be more attractive is by working out. Or making more money. Other then that it’s all genetics and they have absolutely no control.
As a woman I’m bombarded with ads of products that will make me more attractive. Advertising tells me there’s billions of ways for me to improve my beauty. I guess men haven’t had that same message their entire lives. So here you go men (all humans really), here’s all the secrets to being more attractive.
Be More Attractive Physically
First I want to clarify something. Women are not as obsessed with looks as men are. We really and truly are looking at more than your face, body, and bank account. We see the whole picture. You do not have to have a 6 pack or a perfect beach body to be successful on a dating app or dating online.
In fact, there are some women that are turned OFF by chiseled bodies because they feel intimidated or like they would be judged. I don’t want to date a huge body builder because if a man is eating and working out all day, how is he going to give me as much attention as I need??
Want to look more attractive physically? Try these:
- Update your hair cut
- Change your facial hair
- Improve your skin – wash it every morning and night with a gentle cleanser. I like the CeraVe Foaming Facial Cleanser. Use sunscreen on your face every day. Use a retinol at night. Start slow with 1-2 times a week and work up to nightly. Just like most good things in life, consistency is important. If you have lots of acne scars or acne start getting facials regularly.
- Improve your smile – Brush and floss your teeth regularly. Use Crest Whitestrips to whiten your teeth (this is my best tip for looking more attractive immediately, looking better in photos, and looking younger). Straighten your teeth with braces or Invisalign. Always brush your teeth before leaving the house. Carry gum and/or mints on you.
- Eat healthy – Feed yourself like a grown up. Know how to make simple meals. Show that you are capable of taking care of yourself and that you care about your appearance.
- Workout – This will improve your mood, give you more energy, increase your confidence, and get you more in touch with and more comfortable with your body.
- Have impeccable hygiene – Daily or twice a day showers (omg what a dream to not have to wash/blow dry your hair… I would take so many more showers)
- Clean up your hands and feet – Short, clean nails. No crazy calluses. Get a manicure and pedicure if you have to (you’ll enjoy it trust me).
- Moisturize your skin – If it’s dry or flakey make sure you’re not using a soap that’s striping all of the oils out of your skin. Switch to a moisturizing body wash and put lotion on after you get out of the shower will your skin is still damp.
- Posture – If yours is not good, work on it. Practice. Stand tall.
- Get new clothes – Ones that fit you well, are good quality, and can be worn on dates.
- Smell Amazing – Have great hygiene and then use perfume/cologne to smell even better. Suggested reading: How To Smell Sexy ; Men Love This Perfume on Women
Sound More Attractive
- Speak with confidence – Again, practice. Shy? Start forcing yourself to make small talk with strangers when you’re out and about and there’s no pressure. If you talk fast slow down. Enunciate your words and don’t whisper them. Suggested Reading: Pitch Perfect: How to Say It Right the First Time, Every Time Continue reading How to Be More Attractive
Tis the season… to get into a relationship? Cuffing season is here where single people (hand)”cuff” themselves to a partner so they don’t have to brave the winter (and holiday gatherings) all alone.
What is Cuffing Season?
“Cuffing Season” is the time of year beginning mid-Septemberish when summer has come to an end and single people start looking for relationships. Cuffing season happens because it’s dark and cold and single people don’t want to be the only one without a partner for Thanksgiving/Hanukkah/Christmas/New Years. People who normally are comfortable casually dating more than one person at a time are too tired and cold to put in the effort. They want to find a partner they can stay cozy and warm together inside. They also don’t want to have the annual conversation with their parents about why they aren’t married yet.
When is Cuffing Season?
Cuffing season begins during the fall and really heats up near Halloween. Starting to date at Halloween is the perfect amount of time to be dating for it to not be awkward to spend the holidays together. Halloween also coincides with daylight savings time which is another incentive to cuff. Plus for girls who were dieting for Halloween this may be their peak body time and they’d really like to put on a sweater, get a boyfriend, and start eating again.
Is Cuffing Season a good time to meet someone?
I had heard rumors here and there about Tinder possibly charging for features over the last few months and those rumors are true it appears! Tinder Plus is an in-app purchase add-on with four main new features: You can change your location, rewind your last swipe, get unlimited likes, and turn off ads for $9.99-19.99 per month in the US (the prices vary in other countries). Tinder Plus has decided to charge different rates for different ages so if you’re in the US and under 30 you pay $9.99 per month and if you’re over 30 it’s $19.99. I read a tweet that said over 28 and almost had a minor melt down (I am 28), but the 28 year old cut off appears to be in the UK . They decided this after a bunch of testing in various countries showed them that people under 30 are more broke/cheap and over 30 are more desperate for love and booty I suppose. You can still download Tinder and use the features you’ve come to know and love over the past couple years for free, but more ads are coming so get ready. Let’s break down these 4 new features: Continue reading New Tinder Plus App Costs Money
I was bored and browsing Twitter the other day (btw let’s be Twitter friends! I’m @blushinginhwood) when I saw OKCupid had posted this:
I thought “I’m a dating blogger, I’ve got this” and sure enough they picked mine!: Continue reading My Awkward OkCupid Date Immortalized in Cartoon
I went to a comedy show at NerdMelt (great place to see a show BTW) last night and saw these girls performed and they are SO funny!! They’re Erin & Melissa and they are a musical comedy duo that performs regularly at the Upright Citizens Brigade. I love this song “Based on What I See” which talks about a girl knowing a guy is ~the one~ based on his social media. I think it’s safe to say we’ve all been there before. I even tried to pick up a dude on Instagram recently. Anyway check out this video of them singing this hilarious song:
You can see them Tuesday, November 25th @ 9:30pm at UCB Franklin in The UCB Thanksgiving Parade and they’re performing Monday December 1st @ 8:30pm at the brand new UCB Sunset in Erin & MeLissa: One Night Only. Both shows are $5 and excellent date ideas.
You can follow them on Twitter @ErinandMeLissa
When I first heard about the concept of Grouper I was intrigued, but instantly was turned off by it. Grouper is a social club that sets up drinks between 2 groups of friends: 3 guys and 3 girls. I immediately thought, but what if the guy I like likes one of my friends? That always sucks when that happens! You also get no choice as to who you are set up with so it’s a totally blind group date (except you know what your 2 friends look like because you invite them). You also have to pay for Grouper and I have never used a dating site I had to pay for. Grouper costs $20 per person plus a 10% tip for your server which covers their introduction and concierge service and a free first round of drinks at the bar they select for you (the concierge part).
Grouper is actually not claiming to be setting you up on a date and people who sign up don’t have to be single (but God would I be annoyed to go out with a group of guys who were all in relationships wtf). They are planning a night for you with the perfect girl to guy ratio and giving you ideas on how to make it fun. These ideas include preparing “two truths and a lie” before the date for a fun discussion or playing the iPhone game “Phrase Party”. I will say that going on a Grouper definitely takes a lot of the pressure off of the conversations you’re having and you feel less like you’re on a job interview and more like you’re hanging out with friends which is nice. Going out with friends also forces you to be a more authentic version of yourself because your friends might call your ass out or tell the embarrassing stories you might have tried to avoid which does help you get to know each other much faster. It also forces you to actually make a plan instead of getting stuck in chatting or messaging back and forth purgatory.
One of the many trends that turn me off of someone’s Tinder (or Okcupid) profile is when they post something like “don’t worry I won’t tell anyone how we met it can be our secret ;)” or “we can tell everyone we met at IHOP”. Ok, thanks bro. I am truly not interested in anyone who is ashamed to be online dating. Are you better than Martha Stewart at thinking of good ways to do things? No? Well she online dated and if she’s not too good for it neither are you 27 year old guy who “has a real job, not in the BIZ” with pictures of you surfing and with your boys at da club in Vegas and a car selfie with sunglasses on. You can be good looking, charming, successful, and still want to try online dating. The guys that say these things never seem SO good looking and SO successful and SO amazing that no one would EVER believe they’re looking for love on the internet either. The other part that annoys me is they’re throwing shade at me by saying these things. They mean it as a cute little compliment, but the underlying thing they’re saying is oh how could I bring myself to this low point and actually send my computer signal to space to try to find a man?? #shadyboots
The other ways guys (I guess there’s probably girls out there that do this too) let their shame flags wave high is not having a profile picture. It really cracks me up when they try to give reasons why they couldn’t possibly put their pictures up. “I’m in med school I’m not allowed.” Really? Why are there like 20,000 other med students on dating websites showing their faces? “I don’t want people at work to find me” Jesus Christ please get over yourself. If you are that powerful and important you would post yourself online with pride realizing that no one is going to say shit about it. Same thing goes for writing in your profile “wow I never thought I’d be online dating I can’t believe I’m on here”. Girls want a strong man that will stand behind their actions. They also want someone with enough humility to realize that doing something like dating online does not even matter in the slightest in the grand scheme of life. Check your ego little Kanye. When everyone on Earth says they’re looking for someone who is confident, this is not what they mean.
What do you think? Do you have a theory as to why people are still ashamed to date online in 2014?
One thing about online dating that can be frustrating is finding people who actually want to go on a date! There’s only so many “Happy Hump Day!” messages one can get before becoming cynical. There are plenty of time wasters out there (both male and female) and if you want a pen pal they will chat with you about nothing at all for ages. If you want an actual date here are a few of my tips:
1. Guys: Don’t ask right away!! There is about 0 personal info on Tinder so if you ask right away you are saying that you don’t really care what the two of you have in common or if you click, you just want to see if you are physically attracted to them right away in person or if you will “feel chemistry”. Asking right away is a huge turn-off for me because it’s almost like the guy is playing a numbers game and just trying to go on as many dates as possible. You should spend at least a few minutes going back and forth in a conversation first before deciding if you want to ask them out! Guys who do this also tend to blame the girls on Tinder saying that none of them actually want to go on a real date, when in reality they are pushing all the girls away with their eager and non-discriminating approach to asking girls out. On a deeper level this makes me wary that a guy is going to objectify me. I’ve had plenty of seemingly nice, normal guys objectify me while dating. They constantly bring up aspects of this image of me that they want me to be (in very subtle ways) vs. actually getting to know the person I really am. I think I can and will write an entire post about this!
2. After you’ve had a little back and forth banter, know what the person does for fun, if they live in a geographically desirable location relative to you (I think this is pretty key in LA), what they spend most of their time doing, and have a glimpse of their personality, bring it up! I’m old fashioned when it comes to this and I almost never ask guys out. I will, however, ask them if they’ve ever gone out with any girls on Tinder, what they think about online dating, talk about my interest in going out on a real actual date and spending time together, etc. This is the time for them to take the hint and ask you out. If they do not after a 2-3 days, or if a girl gives you a weird excuse and then won’t commit to a different plan, or if the person becomes a ghost then we come to our next tip:
3. Know when to hold ’em and know when to fold ’em! There are plenty of people on Tinder who like the idea of dating new people, but who aren’t actually open to it right now (like me)! These people have good intentions and are hoping that they’re going to find someone who interests them enough to bring them back into the dating world, but are not all in yet. If you feel like you have taken the time to get to know someone, have some things in common, seem romantically interested in eachother/are flirting and the guy doesn’t ask you out in under a week- move on! Block him/unmatch him if you have to. If they say they want to “grab drinks” or “hang out this weekend” and then fail to make a real plan, move on! Listen to Jay-Z “On to the Next One” and keep it moving. There are plenty of other great guys and girls out there and even though you think you may have found your perfect Tinderella, if they do not want to meet up then it is impossible for you to have a real relationship. Let go of your fantasy and find a real life human being who you can actually kiss!
Ah one of my least favorite date invitations right behind “When are we gonna hang out?” And “Let’s go (insert sporty or outdoor activity that involves me sweating) as one of our first dates!” Now this invitation may seem innocuous enough especially if you’ve been out of the dating scene for a while, but let me explain why I don’t like it: Continue reading No, I Don’t Want to Grab a Drink