Tis the season… to get into a relationship? Cuffing season is here where single people (hand)”cuff” themselves to a partner so they don’t have to brave the winter (and holiday gatherings) all alone.
What is Cuffing Season?
“Cuffing Season” is the time of year beginning mid-Septemberish when summer has come to an end and single people start looking for relationships. Cuffing season happens because it’s dark and cold and single people don’t want to be the only one without a partner for Thanksgiving/Hanukkah/Christmas/New Years. People who normally are comfortable casually dating more than one person at a time are too tired and cold to put in the effort. They want to find a partner they can stay cozy and warm together inside. They also don’t want to have the annual conversation with their parents about why they aren’t married yet.
When is Cuffing Season?
Cuffing season begins during the fall and really heats up near Halloween. Starting to date at Halloween is the perfect amount of time to be dating for it to not be awkward to spend the holidays together. Halloween also coincides with daylight savings time which is another incentive to cuff. Plus for girls who were dieting for Halloween this may be their peak body time and they’d really like to put on a sweater, get a boyfriend, and start eating again.
Is Cuffing Season a good time to meet someone?
Continue reading Is Cuffing Season a Good Time to Meet Someone?
I had heard rumors here and there about Tinder possibly charging for features over the last few months and those rumors are true it appears! Tinder Plus is an in-app purchase add-on with four main new features: You can change your location, rewind your last swipe, get unlimited likes, and turn off ads for $9.99-19.99 per month in the US (the prices vary in other countries). Tinder Plus has decided to charge different rates for different ages so if you’re in the US and under 30 you pay $9.99 per month and if you’re over 30 it’s $19.99. I read a tweet that said over 28 and almost had a minor melt down (I am 28), but the 28 year old cut off appears to be in the UK . They decided this after a bunch of testing in various countries showed them that people under 30 are more broke/cheap and over 30 are more desperate for love and booty I suppose. You can still download Tinder and use the features you’ve come to know and love over the past couple years for free, but more ads are coming so get ready. Let’s break down these 4 new features: Continue reading New Tinder Plus App Costs Money
I was bored and browsing Twitter the other day (btw let’s be Twitter friends! I’m @blushinginhwood) when I saw OKCupid had posted this:
I thought “I’m a dating blogger, I’ve got this” and sure enough they picked mine!: Continue reading My Awkward OkCupid Date Immortalized in Cartoon
I went to a comedy show at NerdMelt (great place to see a show BTW) last night and saw these girls performed and they are SO funny!! They’re Erin & Melissa and they are a musical comedy duo that performs regularly at the Upright Citizens Brigade. I love this song “Based on What I See” which talks about a girl knowing a guy is ~the one~ based on his social media. I think it’s safe to say we’ve all been there before. I even tried to pick up a dude on Instagram recently. Anyway check out this video of them singing this hilarious song:
You can see them Tuesday, November 25th @ 9:30pm at UCB Franklin in The UCB Thanksgiving Parade and they’re performing Monday December 1st @ 8:30pm at the brand new UCB Sunset in Erin & MeLissa: One Night Only. Both shows are $5 and excellent date ideas.
You can follow them on Twitter @ErinandMeLissa
When I first heard about the concept of Grouper I was intrigued, but instantly was turned off by it. Grouper is a social club that sets up drinks between 2 groups of friends: 3 guys and 3 girls. I immediately thought, but what if the guy I like likes one of my friends? That always sucks when that happens! You also get no choice as to who you are set up with so it’s a totally blind group date (except you know what your 2 friends look like because you invite them). You also have to pay for Grouper and I have never used a dating site I had to pay for. Grouper costs $20 per person plus a 10% tip for your server which covers their introduction and concierge service and a free first round of drinks at the bar they select for you (the concierge part).
Grouper is actually not claiming to be setting you up on a date and people who sign up don’t have to be single (but God would I be annoyed to go out with a group of guys who were all in relationships wtf). They are planning a night for you with the perfect girl to guy ratio and giving you ideas on how to make it fun. These ideas include preparing “two truths and a lie” before the date for a fun discussion or playing the iPhone game “Phrase Party”. I will say that going on a Grouper definitely takes a lot of the pressure off of the conversations you’re having and you feel less like you’re on a job interview and more like you’re hanging out with friends which is nice. Going out with friends also forces you to be a more authentic version of yourself because your friends might call your ass out or tell the embarrassing stories you might have tried to avoid which does help you get to know each other much faster. It also forces you to actually make a plan instead of getting stuck in chatting or messaging back and forth purgatory.
Continue reading My First Grouper Experience
One of the many trends that turn me off of someone’s Tinder (or Okcupid) profile is when they post something like “don’t worry I won’t tell anyone how we met it can be our secret ;)” or “we can tell everyone we met at IHOP”. Ok, thanks bro. I am truly not interested in anyone who is ashamed to be online dating. Are you better than Martha Stewart at thinking of good ways to do things? No? Well she online dated and if she’s not too good for it neither are you 27 year old guy who “has a real job, not in the BIZ” with pictures of you surfing and with your boys at da club in Vegas and a car selfie with sunglasses on. You can be good looking, charming, successful, and still want to try online dating. The guys that say these things never seem SO good looking and SO successful and SO amazing that no one would EVER believe they’re looking for love on the internet either. The other part that annoys me is they’re throwing shade at me by saying these things. They mean it as a cute little compliment, but the underlying thing they’re saying is oh how could I bring myself to this low point and actually send my computer signal to space to try to find a man?? #shadyboots
The other ways guys (I guess there’s probably girls out there that do this too) let their shame flags wave high is not having a profile picture. It really cracks me up when they try to give reasons why they couldn’t possibly put their pictures up. “I’m in med school I’m not allowed.” Really? Why are there like 20,000 other med students on dating websites showing their faces? “I don’t want people at work to find me” Jesus Christ please get over yourself. If you are that powerful and important you would post yourself online with pride realizing that no one is going to say shit about it. Same thing goes for writing in your profile “wow I never thought I’d be online dating I can’t believe I’m on here”. Girls want a strong man that will stand behind their actions. They also want someone with enough humility to realize that doing something like dating online does not even matter in the slightest in the grand scheme of life. Check your ego little Kanye. When everyone on Earth says they’re looking for someone who is confident, this is not what they mean.
What do you think? Do you have a theory as to why people are still ashamed to date online in 2014?
One thing about online dating that can be frustrating is finding people who actually want to go on a date! There’s only so many “Happy Hump Day!” messages one can get before becoming cynical. There are plenty of time wasters out there (both male and female) and if you want a pen pal they will chat with you about nothing at all for ages. If you want an actual date here are a few of my tips:
1. Guys: Don’t ask right away!! There is about 0 personal info on Tinder so if you ask right away you are saying that you don’t really care what the two of you have in common or if you click, you just want to see if you are physically attracted to them right away in person or if you will “feel chemistry”. Asking right away is a huge turn-off for me because it’s almost like the guy is playing a numbers game and just trying to go on as many dates as possible. You should spend at least a few minutes going back and forth in a conversation first before deciding if you want to ask them out! Guys who do this also tend to blame the girls on Tinder saying that none of them actually want to go on a real date, when in reality they are pushing all the girls away with their eager and non-discriminating approach to asking girls out. On a deeper level this makes me wary that a guy is going to objectify me. I’ve had plenty of seemingly nice, normal guys objectify me while dating. They constantly bring up aspects of this image of me that they want me to be (in very subtle ways) vs. actually getting to know the person I really am. I think I can and will write an entire post about this!
2. After you’ve had a little back and forth banter, know what the person does for fun, if they live in a geographically desirable location relative to you (I think this is pretty key in LA), what they spend most of their time doing, and have a glimpse of their personality, bring it up! I’m old fashioned when it comes to this and I almost never ask guys out. I will, however, ask them if they’ve ever gone out with any girls on Tinder, what they think about online dating, talk about my interest in going out on a real actual date and spending time together, etc. This is the time for them to take the hint and ask you out. If they do not after a 2-3 days, or if a girl gives you a weird excuse and then won’t commit to a different plan, or if the person becomes a ghost then we come to our next tip:
3. Know when to hold ’em and know when to fold ’em! There are plenty of people on Tinder who like the idea of dating new people, but who aren’t actually open to it right now (like me)! These people have good intentions and are hoping that they’re going to find someone who interests them enough to bring them back into the dating world, but are not all in yet. If you feel like you have taken the time to get to know someone, have some things in common, seem romantically interested in eachother/are flirting and the guy doesn’t ask you out in under a week- move on! Block him/unmatch him if you have to. If they say they want to “grab drinks” or “hang out this weekend” and then fail to make a real plan, move on! Listen to Jay-Z “On to the Next One” and keep it moving. There are plenty of other great guys and girls out there and even though you think you may have found your perfect Tinderella, if they do not want to meet up then it is impossible for you to have a real relationship. Let go of your fantasy and find a real life human being who you can actually kiss!
Ah one of my least favorite date invitations right behind “When are we gonna hang out?” And “Let’s go (insert sporty or outdoor activity that involves me sweating) as one of our first dates!” Now this invitation may seem innocuous enough especially if you’ve been out of the dating scene for a while, but let me explain why I don’t like it: Continue reading No, I Don’t Want to Grab a Drink
What to write in that little blurb? Here’s some things to consider not writing:
1. “The baby in the picture is NOT MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M A PROUD UNCLE OK STOP ASKING!!!!” – Woah calm down.
2. “I guess everyone is putting their heights? That’s like a thing? So here’s mine 5’5” – The reason why you need to put your height is because when you’re crouching down to pet a tiger or taking a shirtless bathroom selfie I can’t really get a gauge as to how tall you are/how much I’ll potentially be towering over you. As much fun as it is to try to figure out how many Axe body sprays tall you might be from the bathroom pic and convert that, I’d rather you take the detective work out of it and just tell me.
3. Ok those are all the tips you get because if you’re inspired to go on and on about how great you are or how much money you have or how much you hate sluts PLEASE do so we all know which way to swipe.
This was a real conversation I had with someone several months ago…
Tip#1 Have some self-awareness. If this dude replied and said he was referencing the Jeopardy skit from SNL that would have been one thing. If you’re a grown up you can be silly, but avoid anything too immature (i.e. 420, 69, Barbie, sexy etc.)
Tip#2 Don’t use the same username that you use for other non-dating websites! This was a big mistake that I made and some guy messaged me and let me know that if you google it, a lot of personal info comes up. Think: your youtube history, those comments you left on a grad school forum, your gamer profile, etc.
Tip#3 If you’re totally out of ideas just go for something simple like your first name and some numbers. Or a gender neutral hobby (I would never make one like “MakeupGirl” because no dude is interested in that).
The video I’m referencing: