The air is getting colder and the desire to spend Sunday afternoons snuggled on the couch with someone is increasing rapidly. This can only mean one thing, we are now approaching Cuffing Season. Summer is a great time to hang out with friends, spend your days at the beach and embrace your single self. However, once the temperature drops, you’re on the hunt for a cuddle buddy to cuff for the winter months. The truth is, you don’t know if this relationship will survive the snowy season, but you also don’t want to be the only person without a date to your friend’s NYE party. Keep reading for tips on what you can do to ensure you cuff the person you want to spend your “Netflix and chill” time with.
So I’ve been reading through lots of Reddit posts on r/dating and r/dating_advice to look for some patterns. One that keeps popping up is guys think the only way for them to be more attractive is by working out. Or making more money. Other then that it’s all genetics and they have absolutely no control.
As a woman I’m bombarded with ads of products that will make me more attractive. Advertising tells me there’s billions of ways for me to improve my beauty. I guess men haven’t had that same message their entire lives. So here you go men (all humans really), here’s all the secrets to being more attractive.
Be More Attractive Physically
First I want to clarify something. Women are not as obsessed with looks as men are. We really and truly are looking at more than your face, body, and bank account. We see the whole picture. You do not have to have a 6 pack or a perfect beach body to be successful on a dating app or dating online.
In fact, there are some women that are turned OFF by chiseled bodies because they feel intimidated or like they would be judged. I don’t want to date a huge body builder because if a man is eating and working out all day, how is he going to give me as much attention as I need??
Want to look more attractive physically? Try these:
- Update your hair cut
- Change your facial hair
- Improve your skin – wash it every morning and night with a gentle cleanser. I like the CeraVe Foaming Facial Cleanser. Use sunscreen on your face every day. Use a retinol at night. Start slow with 1-2 times a week and work up to nightly. Just like most good things in life, consistency is important. If you have lots of acne scars or acne start getting facials regularly.
- Improve your smile – Brush and floss your teeth regularly. Use Crest Whitestrips to whiten your teeth (this is my best tip for looking more attractive immediately, looking better in photos, and looking younger). Straighten your teeth with braces or Invisalign. Always brush your teeth before leaving the house. Carry gum and/or mints on you.
- Eat healthy – Feed yourself like a grown up. Know how to make simple meals. Show that you are capable of taking care of yourself and that you care about your appearance.
- Workout – This will improve your mood, give you more energy, increase your confidence, and get you more in touch with and more comfortable with your body.
- Have impeccable hygiene – Daily or twice a day showers (omg what a dream to not have to wash/blow dry your hair… I would take so many more showers)
- Clean up your hands and feet – Short, clean nails. No crazy calluses. Get a manicure and pedicure if you have to (you’ll enjoy it trust me).
- Moisturize your skin – If it’s dry or flakey make sure you’re not using a soap that’s striping all of the oils out of your skin. Switch to a moisturizing body wash and put lotion on after you get out of the shower will your skin is still damp.
- Posture – If yours is not good, work on it. Practice. Stand tall.
- Get new clothes – Ones that fit you well, are good quality, and can be worn on dates.
- Smell Amazing – Have great hygiene and then use perfume/cologne to smell even better. Suggested reading: How To Smell Sexy ; Men Love This Perfume on Women
Sound More Attractive
- Speak with confidence – Again, practice. Shy? Start forcing yourself to make small talk with strangers when you’re out and about and there’s no pressure. If you talk fast slow down. Enunciate your words and don’t whisper them. Suggested Reading: Pitch Perfect: How to Say It Right the First Time, Every Time Continue reading How to Be More Attractive
So my friend Rachel is getting her Masters at USC and asked if she could interview me all about Bumble and dating as a millennial. I said sure! And she really blew me away with how amazing the video came out!
Here’s her description: “Dating organically is a thing of the past, the new trendy and relevant way to meet the love of your life is through dating apps. Specifically Bumble has taken off as a successful and woman run company over the last few years. It urges its female users to initiate conversation and even holds events regularly for their members. I will follow Lindsay Cockburn, a doctor and blogger, in search of love in Los Angeles county, to a bumble event, where she will eat, drink, work out and possibly mingle. Then interview her about the new way of bumble app dating, the upsides and challenges that she encounters and why she feels this is necessary to meet new people in today’s society.”
Bumble Los Angeles Events
This was actually my 2nd Bumble event and I went to a 3rd, a Happy Hour Mixer at Crustacean Beverly Hills, later that week and it was fabulous. Bumble hosts amazing events! If you want to find out when the next event will be check out the Bumble Los Angeles Facebook Page.
View this post on Instagram
Had a great time at the @bumble @bloggerswhobrunchla event at @americanabrand today! #bumble has the best branding, events, attention to detail, messages of female empowerment, social conscientiousness, etc they never disappoint! My dream man is the male version of @whitwolfeherd maybe if I ski backwards down a mountain I’ll find him 😂 Also if you ever want tips on your dating profile feel free to DM me 🤗😘 #bloggerswhobrunch
Does this sound like you?
- I want to try online dating or dating apps, but I’m intimidated by the process.
- I tried online dating, but I found it overwhelming and like a second job.
- I go on dates and they’re not BAD, they just aren’t good.
- I’ve been online dating for years and I feel burnt out and discouraged by the process. Maybe I’m just meant to be a single cat lady.
- I go on a date and finally feel like I have a connection with someone and then I never hear from them again.
- What’s the point of online dating- after matching with people all I hear is crickets.
If you’re new to dating apps and online dating
Who has the time to fiddle with these apps and try to figure them all out? Starting off strong with the right online dating apps, an excellent profile, and the skills to turn matches into dates will save you tons of time and energy. You can streamline the process of going from knowing nothing about online dating to meeting the kind of matches you want and finding love.
You’re welcome to muddle through the process, spend hours on the apps with nothing to show for it, and worry about getting catfished or scammed. Or you can learn the skills and techniques right up front and do it right the first time.
It will take work on your part, but it doesn’t have to be complicated. If you think you may need an excel spreadsheet to keep track of everyone you’re talking to on dating apps, you’re doing it wrong.
Let’s work together to help you achieve your dating and relationship goals. Let’s make this process as simple and enjoyable as it can be. Your time is valuable and healing after bad online dating experiences is no joke. Let’s do it right the first time. I love efficiency.
If you’ve been online dating for a while
What needs to change? Your dating mindset and your strategy.
When you’ve been online dating for years you can start relentlessly questioning yourself (and well meaning friends and family members may join in). Are you being too picky? Are your standards too high? Surely you should have met someone by now and settled down if you were really lovable.
Then there’s the toll dating takes on your self esteem. Feeling like you’re getting rejected over and over chips away at your confidence. You thought you were smart, attractive, successful, educated, with a great life, but if that was true why aren’t any of your dates seeing that? Plus the only thing all of your dates have in common is they’re going out with you… so clearly you are the problem.
Let’s work together to hit the reset button on your dating mindset. Continue reading Dating Coaching
Good news, The League posted some data on their blog that I had just been searching for! The League is an “elite” dating app and is basically Tinder for the college educated 30+ crowd with decent pictures and a somewhat witty “About Me.”
After working on my post Is Cuffing Season a Good Time to Meet Someone? I had wondered when the dating apps really peak. I know that dating apps get the most singles logging in and using the app in the first week of January, but I feel like the magic begins before that when everyone is at their parent’s house bored and tired of being single. Here’s what The League’s data has to say:
And since their infographic is tiny, here is the rundown:
- Best days to log in and swipe: Dec 11-13
- Best days to send a message: Dec 22-24
- Best days to exchange phone numbers: Dec 28-30
- Best days to go on a date: Jan 4-6
Don’t worry if you missed peak “log in and swipe” time. Sunday nights are when dating apps are the most active so you should be getting matches even if you begin swiping this week. Want to break the ice, but don’t know what to say? Check out my What to Message a Guy on Bumble post (the openers work for messaging any gender!). If The League isn’t available in your city or you just want to try a different app check out these posts: Free Dating Apps, Dating Apps to Try in 2017.
When have you had the most luck on dating apps? Do you find it easier during a certain time of year? I sometimes like to swipe through people when I’m at home in Florida just to see what’s available. Typically it’s a lot of guys holding dead fish or one time there was a guy wrestling an alligator #FloridaMan.
Tis the season… to get into a relationship? Cuffing season is here where single people (hand)”cuff” themselves to a partner so they don’t have to brave the winter (and holiday gatherings) all alone.
What is Cuffing Season?
“Cuffing Season” is the time of year beginning mid-Septemberish when summer has come to an end and single people start looking for relationships. Cuffing season happens because it’s dark and cold and single people don’t want to be the only one without a partner for Thanksgiving/Hanukkah/Christmas/New Years. People who normally are comfortable casually dating more than one person at a time are too tired and cold to put in the effort. They want to find a partner they can stay cozy and warm together inside. They also don’t want to have the annual conversation with their parents about why they aren’t married yet.
When is Cuffing Season?
Cuffing season begins during the fall and really heats up near Halloween. Starting to date at Halloween is the perfect amount of time to be dating for it to not be awkward to spend the holidays together. Halloween also coincides with daylight savings time which is another incentive to cuff. Plus for girls who were dieting for Halloween this may be their peak body time and they’d really like to put on a sweater, get a boyfriend, and start eating again.
Is Cuffing Season a good time to meet someone?
Break up pain is the worst. The sadness, feelings of loss, the disappointment, fear, and hole you feel inside of your heart can be all too real. It can feel like you’ll never recover. Or if you do, you’ll never find someone as good or ever be as happy as you once were. Add a healthy dose of self loathing and “What did I do wrong!?” on top of that and you are under a garbage heap of feelings that it can feel impossible to ever escape.
Want to figure out why you broke up, do’s and don’ts for short term and long term recovery from a break up, what the hell you’re supposed to do now?, if things will ever get better, or how to improve your self-esteem that feels like it’s in the toilet? This is the post for you. Or maybe you are thinking “Why am I even reading this? I’m smart I can get over this it will just take time.” Keep reading to find out why you can’t overcome a breakup with just logic. Continue reading The Ultimate Breakup and Recovery Guide
Here’s some dating red flags that I’ve ignored in the past: Continue reading Dating Red Flags