Category Archives: Dating Advice

How to Be More Attractive

So I’ve been reading through lots of Reddit posts on r/dating and r/dating_advice to look for some patterns. One that keeps popping up is guys think the only way for them to be more attractive is by working out. Or making more money. Other then that it’s all genetics and they have absolutely no control.

As a woman I’m bombarded with ads of products that will make me more attractive. Advertising tells me there’s billions of ways for me to improve my beauty. I guess men haven’t had that same message their entire lives. So here you go men (all humans really), here’s all the secrets to being more attractive.

Be More Attractive Physically

First I want to clarify something. Women are not as obsessed with looks as men are. We really and truly are looking at more than your face, body, and bank account. We see the whole picture. You do not have to have a 6 pack or a perfect beach body to be successful on a dating app or dating online.

In fact, there are some women that are turned OFF by chiseled bodies because they feel intimidated or like they would be judged. I don’t want to date a huge body builder because if a man is eating and working out all day, how is he going to give me as much attention as I need??

Want to look more attractive physically? Try these:

  • Update your hair cut
  • Change your facial hair
  • Improve your skin – wash it every morning and night with a gentle cleanser. I like the CeraVe Foaming Facial Cleanser. Use sunscreen on your face every day. Use a retinol at night. Start slow with 1-2 times a week and work up to nightly. Just like most good things in life, consistency is important. If you have lots of acne scars or acne start getting facials regularly.
  • Improve your smile – Brush and floss your teeth regularly.  Use Crest Whitestrips to whiten your teeth (this is my best tip for looking more attractive immediately, looking better in photos, and looking younger). Straighten your teeth with braces or Invisalign. Always brush your teeth before leaving the house. Carry gum and/or mints on you.
  • Eat healthy – Feed yourself like a grown up. Know how to make simple meals. Show that you are capable of taking care of yourself and that you care about your appearance.
  • Workout – This will improve your mood, give you more energy, increase your confidence, and get you more in touch with and more comfortable with your body.
  • Have impeccable hygiene – Daily or twice a day showers (omg what a dream to not have to wash/blow dry your hair… I would take so many more showers)
  • Clean up your hands and feet – Short, clean nails. No crazy calluses. Get a manicure and pedicure if you have to (you’ll enjoy it trust me).
  • Moisturize your skin – If it’s dry or flakey make sure you’re not using a soap that’s striping all of the oils out of your skin. Switch to a moisturizing body wash and put lotion on after you get out of the shower will your skin is still damp.
  • Posture – If yours is not good, work on it. Practice. Stand tall.
  • Get new clothes – Ones that fit you well, are good quality, and can be worn on dates.
  • Smell Amazing – Have great hygiene and then use perfume/cologne to smell even better. Suggested reading: How To Smell Sexy ; Men Love This Perfume on Women

Sound More Attractive

Dating on Bumble as a Millennial Video

So my friend Rachel is getting her Masters at USC and asked if she could interview me all about Bumble and dating as a millennial. I said sure! And she really blew me away with how amazing the video came out!

Here’s her description: “Dating organically is a thing of the past, the new trendy and relevant way to meet the love of your life is through dating apps.  Specifically Bumble has taken off as a successful and woman run company over the last few years. It urges its female users to initiate conversation and even holds events regularly for their members. I will follow Lindsay Cockburn, a doctor and blogger, in search of love in Los Angeles county, to a bumble event, where she will eat, drink, work out and possibly mingle. Then interview her about the new way of bumble app dating, the upsides and challenges that she encounters and why she feels this is necessary to meet new people in today’s society.”

Bumble Los Angeles Events

This was actually my 2nd Bumble event and I went to a 3rd, a Happy Hour Mixer at Crustacean Beverly Hills, later that week and it was fabulous. Bumble hosts amazing events! If you want to find out when the next event will be check out the Bumble Los Angeles Facebook Page.

Here’s some photos I posted on my Instagram @blushinginhollywood from the Bumble X Bloggers Who Brunch LA event 5/27/18 at the Americana in Glendale.

Continue reading Dating on Bumble as a Millennial Video

Dating Coaching

Does this sound like you?

    • I want to try online dating or dating apps, but I’m intimidated by the process.
    • I tried online dating, but I found it overwhelming and like a second job.
    • I go on dates and they’re not BAD, they just aren’t good.
    • I’ve been online dating for years and I feel burnt out and discouraged by the process. Maybe I’m just meant to be a single cat lady.
    • I go on a date and finally feel like I have a connection with someone and then I never hear from them again.
    • What’s the point of online dating- after matching with people all I hear is crickets.

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If you’re new to dating apps and online dating

Who has the time to fiddle with these apps and try to figure them all out? Starting off strong with the right online dating apps, an excellent profile, and the skills to turn matches into dates will save you tons of time and energy. You can streamline the process of going from knowing nothing about online dating to meeting the kind of matches you want and finding love.

You’re welcome to muddle through the process, spend hours on the apps with nothing to show for it, and worry about getting catfished or scammed. Or you can learn the skills and techniques right up front and do it right the first time.

It will take work on your part, but it doesn’t have to be complicated. If you think you may need an excel spreadsheet to keep track of everyone you’re talking to on dating apps, you’re doing it wrong.

Let’s work together to help you achieve your dating and relationship goals. Let’s make this process as simple and enjoyable as it can be. Your time is valuable and healing after bad online dating experiences is no joke. Let’s do it right the first time. I love efficiency.

If you’ve been online dating for a while

What needs to change? Your dating mindset and your strategy.

When you’ve been online dating for years you can start relentlessly questioning yourself (and well meaning friends and family members may join in). Are you being too picky? Are your standards too high? Surely you should have met someone by now and settled down if you were really lovable.

Then there’s the toll dating takes on your self esteem. Feeling like you’re getting rejected over and over chips away at your confidence. You thought you were smart, attractive, successful, educated, with a great life, but if that was true why aren’t any of your dates seeing that? Plus the only thing all of your dates have in common is they’re going out with youso clearly you are the problem.

Let’s work together to hit the reset button on your dating mindset. Continue reading Dating Coaching

My Top 3 Online Dating Tips

I’ve been dating online for over 10 years now. I’ve helped friends with their dating profiles and after taking my advice they have found serious long term relationships, gotten engaged, and some are now married and have kids together. I think that relationships with other people and the experiences you have with those people are what life’s all about.

When you begin dating online or using dating apps it can be overwhelming. In the beginning you can get so much attention it feels like you’ll need to hire an assistant to organize all of your potential matches. Then after a few days or weeks it feels like the exciting spotlight you had is now gone and you’re just having the same boring conversation over and over.

Maybe you send out messages and no one ever responds. Or you wonder why you’re not seeing anyone you’re interested in or getting those exciting “It’s a match!” pop-ups anymore. How can you re-ignite your Tinder flame and feel hot again? How can you get people to turn into heart eye emojis that immediately swipe right on your profile? How can you make sure you’re matching with the right kind of people? How can you stop the never ending supply of pen pals that want to text you all day and never meet up?

I’ve made a guide with my top 3 all time best online dating tips. Whether you’re just getting started dating online or you’re a veteran  online dater who is feeling burnt out on online dating these tips are for you!

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The Best Time of Year to Use a Dating App

Good news, The League posted some data on their blog that I had just been searching for! The League is an “elite” dating app and is basically Tinder for the college educated 30+ crowd with decent pictures and a somewhat witty “About Me.”

After working on my post Is Cuffing Season a Good Time to Meet Someone? I had wondered when the dating apps really peak. I know that dating apps get the most singles logging in and using the app in the first week of January, but I feel like the magic begins before that when everyone is at their parent’s house bored and tired of being single. Here’s what The League’s data has to say:

And since their infographic is tiny, here is the rundown:

  • Best days to log in and swipe: Dec 11-13
  • Best days to send a message: Dec 22-24
  • Best days to exchange phone numbers: Dec 28-30
  • Best days to go on a date: Jan 4-6

Don’t worry if you missed peak “log in and swipe” time. Sunday nights are when dating apps are the most active so you should be getting matches even if you begin swiping this week. Want to break the ice, but don’t know what to say? Check out my What to Message a Guy on Bumble post (the openers work for messaging any gender!). If The League isn’t available in your city or you just want to try a different app check out these posts: Free Dating AppsDating Apps to Try in 2017.

When have you had the most luck on dating apps? Do you find it easier during a certain time of year? I sometimes like to swipe through people when I’m at home in Florida just to see what’s available. Typically it’s a lot of guys holding dead fish or one time there was a guy wrestling an alligator #FloridaMan.

Is Cuffing Season a Good Time to Meet Someone?

Tis the season… to get into a relationship? Cuffing season is here where single people (hand)”cuff” themselves to a partner so they don’t have to brave the winter (and holiday gatherings) all alone.

What is Cuffing Season?

“Cuffing Season” is the time of year beginning mid-Septemberish when summer has come to an end and single people start looking for relationships. Cuffing season happens because it’s dark and cold and single people don’t want to be the only one without a partner for Thanksgiving/Hanukkah/Christmas/New Years. People who normally are comfortable casually dating more than one person  at a time are too tired and cold to put in the effort. They want to find a partner they can stay cozy and warm together inside. They also don’t want to have the annual conversation with their parents about why they aren’t married yet.

When is Cuffing Season?

Cuffing season begins during the fall and really heats up near Halloween. Starting to date at Halloween is the perfect amount of time to be dating for it to not be awkward to spend the holidays together. Halloween also coincides with daylight savings time which is another incentive to cuff. Plus for girls who were dieting for Halloween this may be their peak body time and they’d really like to put on a sweater, get a boyfriend, and start eating again.

Is Cuffing Season a good time to meet someone?

Continue reading Is Cuffing Season a Good Time to Meet Someone?

The Ultimate Breakup and Recovery Guide

Break up pain is the worst. The sadness, feelings of loss, the disappointment, fear, and hole you feel inside of your heart can be all too real. It can feel like you’ll never recover. Or if you do, you’ll never find someone as good or ever be as happy as you once were. Add a healthy dose of self loathing and “What did I do wrong!?” on top of that and you are under a garbage heap of feelings that it can feel impossible to ever escape.

Want to figure out why you broke up, do’s and don’ts for short term and long term recovery from a break up, what the hell you’re supposed to do now?, if things will ever get better, or how to improve your self-esteem that feels like it’s in the toilet? This is the post for you. Or maybe you are thinking “Why am I even reading this? I’m smart I can get over this it will just take time.” Keep reading to find out why you can’t overcome a breakup with just logic. Continue reading The Ultimate Breakup and Recovery Guide

What to Message a Guy on Bumble

Is Bumble my favorite dating app? No, but it is the only one that I know of where girls must send the first message. Instead of giving guys a hard time with their lack of creativity I thought I’d give the ladies some tips. If you’re in dire straights where your perfect match will expire if you don’t say something immediately and you can’t think up the perfect opener then you have my permission to “Hey” them, otherwise try to do better! People notice and appreciate individual attention.

Messaging on Dating Apps

  • The best openers have a question that can be answered within a sentence or 2 max. What brings you to LA? Wow your job sounds cool how did you get interested in that? Can have complex answers and are better asked on the date itself.
  • Try your best to ask them a question about something specific to their profile- people like the individual attention and don’t feel like just another bee.
  • Rhetorical questions are not real questions and they’re non-starters. How’d you get so cute? Wow pretty and smart, how did that happen!?
  • Small talk questions are non-starters. Big plans this weekend? How was your weekend? How’s your week going so far? How are you? What’s up? How’s your 2017 so far? LAZY. This reads as “will you please do this creative work for me I don’t feel as though you are worth the effort.” I tend to lob these back with a similarly lazy “good, you?” so they can try again.
  • Statements are not questions. Wow I thought I was the only one who liked XYZ. Nice eyes. Great hair. You’re from x you must be this kind of sports fan! It’s ok to give compliments or make cute observations, but a question is required.

Continue reading What to Message a Guy on Bumble

Dating Apps to Try in 2017

Happy New Year everyone! Did you know the New Year, New You vibe makes early January the peak traffic time for dating apps and websites? Everyone wants to start fresh when January comes so now is the time to start (or re-start) using those dating apps! Here’s a few to try that are free: Continue reading Dating Apps to Try in 2017